After the disappearance of a father, is this typical?
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ad died when I was 8, (well 7 coming on 8) I'm 16 in a month so it has be a long time since it happened. He smoked, and got lung cancer and died after an unpleasant stay in the hospital. I remember his appearance shifting, to pale and bald after the therapy.
Because I be so young I've never really experienced a death as close to me as this one, so I don't know what's normal and what isn't.
I have dreams rarely about him, where on earth I'm back in time and we're together, and when I wake up for a couple of second when you're still not awake, I jump out of bed and look for him, but then it snaps into me that he's not here.
I'm just finding things too hard- I sit and deem about it because I have nothing else to do sometimes; I hold to see a doctor, psychologist and councillor soon about Social Phobia, so I don't really go out with population. That leaves alot of time spend just me on my own, being miserable. I miss him so much, and it's the fact that it's NEVER going to coppers, he's never going to come back and I'll never be able to see him again.
n't stop thinking about him, but when I do it's too scratchy, and I can't do the whole "remember the good times" with him concept.
There are few memories I can recollect vividly of us together, very very few, the majority of what I have disappeared of him are just photos- but I can't find them. I had a panic attack ultimate night because I don't know where they are. I can't remember his voice, I can just remember how tingly it feel when he held my hand.
But is all of this normal, after so long, and when I do see the doctor should I mention this to them too?
When I walk around contained by public, I sometimes see people who look like him and I know it must sound crazy, but I bring up to date myself that that's him, but he's there because he left the family, not because he died. But I know he's departed and I know he wouldn't have done that. But I just get so carried away, and I sit down and I start believing that that individual IS him, so I just sit there and think roughly speaking him. I wish I was older at the time because I would hold tried to have stopped him from smoking; I'm not a stupid girl, I know about smoking and I'm sure as hell never going to take it on. I pass alot of guilt I probably shouldn't over that, but is this normal?
Answers: Hey (((Big Hug)))! Of course what you consistency is normal. I spent most of my life moving every few years and I would always be "seeking" face in the crowd.
t of you is grieving the other part is suffering traumatic stress.
It really helps to talk just about your Dad to someone who will happily share some memories of him with you. Start with your mother and his mother, they will never stop loving him too. What a lucky man his be to have someone like you who loves him so much.
Just remember though - he wouldn't want you to hurt this much. (-:
Seems to me you just feel desperate because you grew up without a father. You also sound depressed. I'd talk to a doctor conceivably talk about it with your mom or even a shrink.
first permit me say that im very sorry about your dad and my heart go out to you
i have never experienced a close death in my relatives but i know a lot of people who have. its evident that you love and miss your dad a lot but i dont think he would want you to cry yourself to sleep everynight or worry roughly speaking it so much. and maybe thats easy for me to say because im not going through what you are but i know i wouldnt want my child to quality so guilty after i passed. so just tell yourself that you are gunna live a great life for your dad instead or mourning everyday and a moment ago remember that one day you two will be reunited and he'll be proud of you that you lived your life to the fullest for him.
ose, everything you feel is normal - it's the way folks feel when they lose a parent as an adult, and you lost yours so young and enjoy been growing up without him.
All that you describe are normal mental state, right down to imagining you see him and the feelings of guilt.
I can't imagine what it be like to lose a parent while still a child. Someone with more experience of this, personally or professionally, may all right be along to answer your question; I hope so.
You never get over the death of someone you love, but you do go and get used to it and learn to live with it. You really do start to remember the sweet times, but urging you to do that at this stage would not be helpful. It seem to me that you probably have never had the opportunity to really talk in the region of all this to someone who will just listen. You've mentioned counselling, and I think a counsellor skilled contained by bereavement conselling for children and young people might really help.
you competent to talk to your mother, or have you avoided doing so hoping to spare her any pain? She will enjoy photographs and memories of him to share, to keep his memory alive for you.
My best wishes to you; I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain
I'm 15. My dad died when i was 10. His death be sudden though, he got in a car fluke. But he died on a trip. And I remember begging him not to go. And before he go I had this nervous feeling around him leaving. And sometimes I blame myself for not trying harder to make him stay. And I wish I be older when he died that way I could have gotten to know him better. And I save getting so afraid that one day I'm going to wake up and not remember the style his voice sounds and not remember the way he smells and exactly what his face looked close to. And for the first year I think I was too young to discern the impact of what happened. But once I was around 12 or 13 I cried absolutely every hours of darkness. I cried late into the night. I also began blaming everything impossible in my life on his death. And even though plentifully of it is a result of his death, it's not his fault. And there's no use blaming him. I still cry about it profusely. And sometimes I wonder if I kill myself I'll get to be at peace with him. I hatred thinking about all the things I'll never get to do next to him. Who's going to walk me down the aisle at my wedding? But listen, what doesn't kill you, solely makes you stronger. And life can be short, our dads are proof. But he loved you, and he would want you to live the happiest life you can okay. So purely remember that. Source(s): life.
Hi i am sammy and im 17, i havent lost a parent but my mum is an alcoholic and not often around, i know that she will eventually die from the drink and i think about it lots. Listen u really need to consult to somebody about this and a doctor might help you sleep better and feel smaller quantity depressed. I'm so so sorry that this has happened to u because u have your full life ahead of you and this cant be helping with school. You do not sounds crazy at adjectives, when my nan died i used to think that somewhere docters had found a cure for why she was sick and that it was illegal and she was alive contained by hiding somewhere. I used to think people in the street be her too and it's awful because you know deep down they aren't. If you were older at hand is nothing you could have done, i promise you that because my dad smokes and he wont listen to me, i will tell him give or take a few u though and maybe he will understand that he could hurt me alot by carrying on. Nothing is your fault and although u should never forget him you involve to try and move on. I suggest speaking to a doctor and another family member who lost him too because u could share your ambience. if u ever need to talk i will be happy to xx
well, if nobody help you understand death then ( it is difficult for a child to construe death) your experience is normal. But if you had a supportive family, who help you through this, you should be coping better by now.
absolutely should tell the psychologist ( possibly the others) about this because it is a HUGE thing effecting your sleep, your thinking 0 this is a biggie.
About the smoking - my father died when i was 15, and though he did not die from lung cancer, smoking be a serious contributor. I DID ask him to stop smoking,, and he tried,, but the cigarette addiction is very very strong. So try to get over blaming yourself from this. Even within the 1950s, people knew cigarettes were impressively bad for your health - one of the nicknames for cigarettes be "coffin nails." (only the cigarette companies denied that.)
Related Questions:
ad died when I was 8, (well 7 coming on 8) I'm 16 in a month so it has be a long time since it happened. He smoked, and got lung cancer and died after an unpleasant stay in the hospital. I remember his appearance shifting, to pale and bald after the therapy.
Because I be so young I've never really experienced a death as close to me as this one, so I don't know what's normal and what isn't.
I have dreams rarely about him, where on earth I'm back in time and we're together, and when I wake up for a couple of second when you're still not awake, I jump out of bed and look for him, but then it snaps into me that he's not here.
I'm just finding things too hard- I sit and deem about it because I have nothing else to do sometimes; I hold to see a doctor, psychologist and councillor soon about Social Phobia, so I don't really go out with population. That leaves alot of time spend just me on my own, being miserable. I miss him so much, and it's the fact that it's NEVER going to coppers, he's never going to come back and I'll never be able to see him again.
n't stop thinking about him, but when I do it's too scratchy, and I can't do the whole "remember the good times" with him concept.
There are few memories I can recollect vividly of us together, very very few, the majority of what I have disappeared of him are just photos- but I can't find them. I had a panic attack ultimate night because I don't know where they are. I can't remember his voice, I can just remember how tingly it feel when he held my hand.
But is all of this normal, after so long, and when I do see the doctor should I mention this to them too?
When I walk around contained by public, I sometimes see people who look like him and I know it must sound crazy, but I bring up to date myself that that's him, but he's there because he left the family, not because he died. But I know he's departed and I know he wouldn't have done that. But I just get so carried away, and I sit down and I start believing that that individual IS him, so I just sit there and think roughly speaking him. I wish I was older at the time because I would hold tried to have stopped him from smoking; I'm not a stupid girl, I know about smoking and I'm sure as hell never going to take it on. I pass alot of guilt I probably shouldn't over that, but is this normal?
Answers: Hey (((Big Hug)))! Of course what you consistency is normal. I spent most of my life moving every few years and I would always be "seeking" face in the crowd.
t of you is grieving the other part is suffering traumatic stress.
It really helps to talk just about your Dad to someone who will happily share some memories of him with you. Start with your mother and his mother, they will never stop loving him too. What a lucky man his be to have someone like you who loves him so much.
Just remember though - he wouldn't want you to hurt this much. (-:
Seems to me you just feel desperate because you grew up without a father. You also sound depressed. I'd talk to a doctor conceivably talk about it with your mom or even a shrink.
first permit me say that im very sorry about your dad and my heart go out to you
i have never experienced a close death in my relatives but i know a lot of people who have. its evident that you love and miss your dad a lot but i dont think he would want you to cry yourself to sleep everynight or worry roughly speaking it so much. and maybe thats easy for me to say because im not going through what you are but i know i wouldnt want my child to quality so guilty after i passed. so just tell yourself that you are gunna live a great life for your dad instead or mourning everyday and a moment ago remember that one day you two will be reunited and he'll be proud of you that you lived your life to the fullest for him.
ose, everything you feel is normal - it's the way folks feel when they lose a parent as an adult, and you lost yours so young and enjoy been growing up without him.
All that you describe are normal mental state, right down to imagining you see him and the feelings of guilt.
I can't imagine what it be like to lose a parent while still a child. Someone with more experience of this, personally or professionally, may all right be along to answer your question; I hope so.
You never get over the death of someone you love, but you do go and get used to it and learn to live with it. You really do start to remember the sweet times, but urging you to do that at this stage would not be helpful. It seem to me that you probably have never had the opportunity to really talk in the region of all this to someone who will just listen. You've mentioned counselling, and I think a counsellor skilled contained by bereavement conselling for children and young people might really help.
you competent to talk to your mother, or have you avoided doing so hoping to spare her any pain? She will enjoy photographs and memories of him to share, to keep his memory alive for you.
My best wishes to you; I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain
I'm 15. My dad died when i was 10. His death be sudden though, he got in a car fluke. But he died on a trip. And I remember begging him not to go. And before he go I had this nervous feeling around him leaving. And sometimes I blame myself for not trying harder to make him stay. And I wish I be older when he died that way I could have gotten to know him better. And I save getting so afraid that one day I'm going to wake up and not remember the style his voice sounds and not remember the way he smells and exactly what his face looked close to. And for the first year I think I was too young to discern the impact of what happened. But once I was around 12 or 13 I cried absolutely every hours of darkness. I cried late into the night. I also began blaming everything impossible in my life on his death. And even though plentifully of it is a result of his death, it's not his fault. And there's no use blaming him. I still cry about it profusely. And sometimes I wonder if I kill myself I'll get to be at peace with him. I hatred thinking about all the things I'll never get to do next to him. Who's going to walk me down the aisle at my wedding? But listen, what doesn't kill you, solely makes you stronger. And life can be short, our dads are proof. But he loved you, and he would want you to live the happiest life you can okay. So purely remember that. Source(s): life.
Hi i am sammy and im 17, i havent lost a parent but my mum is an alcoholic and not often around, i know that she will eventually die from the drink and i think about it lots. Listen u really need to consult to somebody about this and a doctor might help you sleep better and feel smaller quantity depressed. I'm so so sorry that this has happened to u because u have your full life ahead of you and this cant be helping with school. You do not sounds crazy at adjectives, when my nan died i used to think that somewhere docters had found a cure for why she was sick and that it was illegal and she was alive contained by hiding somewhere. I used to think people in the street be her too and it's awful because you know deep down they aren't. If you were older at hand is nothing you could have done, i promise you that because my dad smokes and he wont listen to me, i will tell him give or take a few u though and maybe he will understand that he could hurt me alot by carrying on. Nothing is your fault and although u should never forget him you involve to try and move on. I suggest speaking to a doctor and another family member who lost him too because u could share your ambience. if u ever need to talk i will be happy to xx
well, if nobody help you understand death then ( it is difficult for a child to construe death) your experience is normal. But if you had a supportive family, who help you through this, you should be coping better by now.
absolutely should tell the psychologist ( possibly the others) about this because it is a HUGE thing effecting your sleep, your thinking 0 this is a biggie.
About the smoking - my father died when i was 15, and though he did not die from lung cancer, smoking be a serious contributor. I DID ask him to stop smoking,, and he tried,, but the cigarette addiction is very very strong. So try to get over blaming yourself from this. Even within the 1950s, people knew cigarettes were impressively bad for your health - one of the nicknames for cigarettes be "coffin nails." (only the cigarette companies denied that.)
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