Anger surrounded by cancer patients?
My sister has stage 4 lung cancer. She is nearing the end of her life. She is again within the hospital. I called to check on her yesterday, and she was crying. I can't go see her due to a cold and her depressed immune system. After getting stale the phone with her, I called our other sister to see if she could run to the hospital to be with her since she be feeling so bad. Now sick sister is mad at me, and won't communicate to me because I 'butted into her business'.
stly, I was just worried about her, and looked-for to make sure the staff was taking her pain issue seriously and her breathing difficulty seriously. I don't want her to suffer needlessly if they can sustain. I can't see her because they won't let me since I have a stuffy nose or I would hold went myself.
Her emotions are so confused right now which is allowable. I just don't want her to cut me off for such a small thing. I in recent times wanted to make sure she was getting adequate care from her nurses. What should I do? Are all dying patients just angry at everyone for everything? I can figure out that. I just don't want her to die hating me.
Answers: First of all, she doesn't hate you. She's obviously extremely emotionally stressed out! Here's what you do: suck it up. Just put up near her crap. It obviously has to do with the cancer and not you.
omething you do upsets her, apologize. If she yell at you, tell her you can't imagine what she's going through and you want to help her surrounded by any way you can. Tell her that obviously you went nearly it the wrong way and for that you are sorry. Tell her you wish you knew how to thieve all her pain away. Tell her you just aversion to see her so upset and wanted to see her.
Just remember, she's not angry with you!! Sure she's acting like she is, but trust me she isn't!! You are simply a convenient target. Just keep trying to be there for her.
sister is angry, fearful, and experiencing terrible emotions because she is dying before her time.
Your sister's hospitalization is nearly her, not about you. I strongly suggest that you cease focusing on yourself so much and start thinking about her. She is facing her mortality and wishes supportive people around her, not self-centered people.
I have brain cancer and while I am relatively mobile there are days when I don't have any liveliness and can't do most simple things. Then there are days where I have a multitude of heartiness. Do I get angry too? You bet I do! I'm angry, not at my husband (although he is usually at the end of my bluntness or anger) but because I don't have as much control over my enthusiasm as I would like. My "normal" is no longer normal and I get frustrated trying to integer it out.
As for your sister hating you when she is dying try not to cross that bridge just yet. Take respectively day one day at a time, for isn't that all any of us really enjoy? Be there for her when you can be and stop apologizing when you can't. You can't run yourself down too. Take care of yourself and only afterwards can you take care of your sister the best way that solitary sisters can.
ow,
Your in a tough situation. I am guessing that your sister is on a great deal of drugs based on your description of her health. Please know that drugs really effect a persons self-image. Then if you place death on top of this issue it can be very tough for adjectives concerned.
1. It is not me.
2. The drugs wreak reactions that are wild.
3. Stay calm no thing what the provocation is.
istraction is a great tool, like bring some food, games, photos, anything that you can think of that will take attention bad of the patient and put it onto something else.
6. With the telephone conversation above, just apologize steadily and change the subject.
7. Do not allow yourself into any guilt trip - it is not helpful to you or your sister. My daughter would tell me that I picked her up wrong and hurt her. It be awful how mad she was and I was the target of her ire. The truth is that a individual can be really mad that they have a dreadful disease and on top of this told that they are terminal. That is rough, rough, rough. Just be penetration.
8. If things get too nasty then narrate your sister "this conversation is not helpful and I am going to talk to you later." In other words if things are extensive, take a gentle approach and grab the reins. Sometimes it is better to tramp away or get off the phone than to continue something that will be throbbing for both parties.
I hope my advice is constructive to you. You are traveling a road that is not easy knowing that your going to lose someone that you love. Try and treasure the moments that you have.
Take a multivitamin and some zinc to carry over your cold fast. Make sure you are taking care of yourself with the details, like eating, sleeping and food. When I am stressed I work out and it helps me greatly.
fully something I have written here will be of help to you.
Sincerely,
Deb
Related Questions:
stly, I was just worried about her, and looked-for to make sure the staff was taking her pain issue seriously and her breathing difficulty seriously. I don't want her to suffer needlessly if they can sustain. I can't see her because they won't let me since I have a stuffy nose or I would hold went myself.
Her emotions are so confused right now which is allowable. I just don't want her to cut me off for such a small thing. I in recent times wanted to make sure she was getting adequate care from her nurses. What should I do? Are all dying patients just angry at everyone for everything? I can figure out that. I just don't want her to die hating me.
Answers: First of all, she doesn't hate you. She's obviously extremely emotionally stressed out! Here's what you do: suck it up. Just put up near her crap. It obviously has to do with the cancer and not you.
omething you do upsets her, apologize. If she yell at you, tell her you can't imagine what she's going through and you want to help her surrounded by any way you can. Tell her that obviously you went nearly it the wrong way and for that you are sorry. Tell her you wish you knew how to thieve all her pain away. Tell her you just aversion to see her so upset and wanted to see her.
Just remember, she's not angry with you!! Sure she's acting like she is, but trust me she isn't!! You are simply a convenient target. Just keep trying to be there for her.
sister is angry, fearful, and experiencing terrible emotions because she is dying before her time.
Your sister's hospitalization is nearly her, not about you. I strongly suggest that you cease focusing on yourself so much and start thinking about her. She is facing her mortality and wishes supportive people around her, not self-centered people.
I have brain cancer and while I am relatively mobile there are days when I don't have any liveliness and can't do most simple things. Then there are days where I have a multitude of heartiness. Do I get angry too? You bet I do! I'm angry, not at my husband (although he is usually at the end of my bluntness or anger) but because I don't have as much control over my enthusiasm as I would like. My "normal" is no longer normal and I get frustrated trying to integer it out.
As for your sister hating you when she is dying try not to cross that bridge just yet. Take respectively day one day at a time, for isn't that all any of us really enjoy? Be there for her when you can be and stop apologizing when you can't. You can't run yourself down too. Take care of yourself and only afterwards can you take care of your sister the best way that solitary sisters can.
ow,
Your in a tough situation. I am guessing that your sister is on a great deal of drugs based on your description of her health. Please know that drugs really effect a persons self-image. Then if you place death on top of this issue it can be very tough for adjectives concerned.
1. It is not me.
2. The drugs wreak reactions that are wild.
3. Stay calm no thing what the provocation is.
istraction is a great tool, like bring some food, games, photos, anything that you can think of that will take attention bad of the patient and put it onto something else.
6. With the telephone conversation above, just apologize steadily and change the subject.
7. Do not allow yourself into any guilt trip - it is not helpful to you or your sister. My daughter would tell me that I picked her up wrong and hurt her. It be awful how mad she was and I was the target of her ire. The truth is that a individual can be really mad that they have a dreadful disease and on top of this told that they are terminal. That is rough, rough, rough. Just be penetration.
8. If things get too nasty then narrate your sister "this conversation is not helpful and I am going to talk to you later." In other words if things are extensive, take a gentle approach and grab the reins. Sometimes it is better to tramp away or get off the phone than to continue something that will be throbbing for both parties.
I hope my advice is constructive to you. You are traveling a road that is not easy knowing that your going to lose someone that you love. Try and treasure the moments that you have.
Take a multivitamin and some zinc to carry over your cold fast. Make sure you are taking care of yourself with the details, like eating, sleeping and food. When I am stressed I work out and it helps me greatly.
fully something I have written here will be of help to you.
Sincerely,
Deb
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