A give somebody the third degree for cancer patients?
do you think going through cancer and treatments has been more difficult on you or on your loved ones?
ard myself talking to a coworker today as I was aphorism, "Thank God it's me and not Ian (my son)." But....as I thought about it...thank god it's me and not my husband or my mother also. I am forced to deal with the physical and moving side of this every day. If I want to live, there is no other option, but for my relatives.....it must be so difficult....they make a choice...they choose to stay and help fight...they choose to be caregivers not because they own to, but because they are strong enough to handle the physical and mainly stormy sides. It dawned on me today that if I were the caregiver...I would have broken down long ago, but my support squad has been absolutely amazing and rock solid the entire method through.
So sappy crap aside, do you think going through cancer and treatments has been more difficult on you or on your relations?
Answers: Reading your post dear has brought tears to my eyes. Although I have never had to traffic with having cancer myself I have deal with several close relatives with the disease. My Dad, Grandpa and Sadly my Mother. They were adjectives so brave in fighting but all lost the argument. For my dad it seemed to be the worst he had melanoma that had spread through out his intact body, he was in so much pain it be terrible to see him that way though I was lone 10. My grandpa had colon cancer and mom took care of him right up until she had to put him into a nursing home. We be there everyday with him until unfortunately he passed. My mom have lost so much weight caring for him, because of worry, stress.. and in recent times the everday going of taking care of someone you love and seeing them go down its difficult. But I can speak directly when it comes to my mother who had pancreatic cancer. I took carefulness of her completely though we had hospice for each family branch for my dad & grandpa they were great, but for my mom not so much. It's so hard to talk around, but I think definitely on my side of the fence its complex to see a loved one so weak, frail and sick. This was my mother the one person I other always thought would be there. It's devastating and to be perfectly honest its still thorny each day to even live without her. So, I don't focus either side has it easier or harder each side on its own is difficult. I congratulate you on warfare what a strong human being you must be. I also congradulate your family and network of friends sticking by you..that is to say the true test of love and it seems they are passing that. Good luck within your recovery I hope that you maintain and live a long happy time, not only for you but for your kids because I have to say its pretty difficult being without not only a short time ago one parent but both. My thoughts are with you!
I've been on both sides of the coin. I be my mothers caregiver for seventeen years. She had Parkinson's disease. Then I cared for my dad in the final months of his life. I thank God he did not live to see me go through breast cancer. It would have kill him. My sisters were amazingly strong. They found strength they never knew they had. Was it complex on them. Yes it was, but it was in deeply of ways tougher on me! With faith in God and a healthy dose of stubbornness I made it through. Source(s): be there and done that.
Thankfully I can't answer your question from the point of view of a patient. However, I can answer from the point of vision of a warrior's parent. My son E was diagnosed with a Wilms' Tumour as a newborn, won his battle, and be recently diagnosed with Secondary Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). The best thing we can do is lecture ourselves and talk with other parents of little warriors. Just discussion with other parents about similar experiences and what to look for, what to avoid, and what to do that helps comfort kids is more thoughtful than you could imagine. One great website is called People Against Childhood Cancer (PAC2). There are tons of wonderful people here who enjoy children that survived, have earned their wings, and who are currently conflict their battles. They all have great push for and are all warm and welcoming.
first character I met after my son was diagnosed the first time told me to make a caringbridge site for him. This was the most wonderful point I could have been told. We gave the website to line and friends so they could keep up with E's progress without have to constantly ask us. This gave us more time to spend devoted to fighting for E and being beside our other 7 children. The other thing is that we wanted to get other children involved contained by his treatment. Since all of our children are too little to fully understand what cancer is, we told them that E isn't home because he's being fundamentally brave and fighting a monster right now. It has help us both in giving Eli the attention that he needs as well as giving respectively of our other children the attention they need too. They love to visit him (when he's feeling ok enough) during the time he is within the hospital and we usually take one or two with us when he has clinic visit. It really gives the other children a sense of pride in that they're helping E fight his monster and get hold of better.
There are times that he gets scared, whether it's needles or someone new he simply isn't sure about. We just have to stay strong for him and product sure he knows it's ok. And yes, my wife and I sure have had our moments of worrying something like the future sobbing but we try our hardest to stay as strong as we possibly can in front of E and our other children. There's no need contained by worrying them any more than they already are.
This has all have not only had effects on my son but it's had effects on my wife and I as all right as our other kids. We have had to take days rotten work to spend with E and we've spent many nights apart, one beside E and one home with our other kids. The worry and the waiting has be the worst part for us, we have both definitely lost plentifully of sleep over it. Our kids are all pretty young (ages 8 years to 16 months) still but my oldest two, to some degree, comprehend that E is pretty sick. I know they constantly worry about him, especially when he isn't home.
It's just one of those things, it happen, as unfair as it is, but it happens. We just hold to do everything we can for our warrior and hope he can have a long, healthy life. Source(s): My 2 year dated son is a warrior who beat a Wilms' Tumour and is currently battling Secondary Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.
I was doing something, I be fighting cancer, I was dealing with side effects, I be coping with 100% of what I could do.
They were being supportive, helping next to what they could do, and then having to sit by when I was tired or not a hundred percent or fighting infections and all they could do was grain helpless to help.
sound a thoughtful person whom I would own liked to be treated alongside when I had cancer!
I don't have a household, but inside one feels one wants to give something hindmost to all the friends who helped one through - so I set up a website Having Fun After Cancer (www.after-cancer.com). The idea be that any friends who were then diagnosed with cancer, would realise treatment does come to an appendage, and there are lots of nice things we can take advantage of.
Good luck
Verite R
My family likes to pretend and feat like its worse on them, but its definatly worse on me. And for the very reason you articulate its worse on the caregiver... They choose to help me. My aunt acted like it was the biggest inconvience surrounded by the world and didnt let me forget it for a min, but she choose to let me live with her when I have to quit work. My mom acted like I was asking her to jump bad a cliff when I asked her to be my care giver during my transplant when my husband couldnt because someone had to work and I be 2 hours away. But she choose to come down here and be with me.
when I moved out of my aunt's house, she got to go on and not live beside it anymore. After 3 months my mom was able to go home and not treaty with it anymore. *I* am the one who has spent the majority of the last 4.5 years sitting on the couch not sufficiently expert to work, unable to go out. I have lost adjectives but a handful of my friends because people my age just dont know how to deal beside their friends having cancer, but my mom and my aunt never lost their friends over the help they gave me. My relations has always had money and time to nick their breaks from caring for me, but I am just now getting a break after this long of self sick.
While I have no doubt that it has be emotionally difficult for my family, they have all get to go on living their own lives while my life has be stuck in one place for almost 5 years. I havent been able to live my enthusiasm for almost 5 years while they are inconvienced, yes, but havnt stopped living their life for even a minute.
regard as my negativity about it being more difficult for me than my family is more nearly the lack of support than anything else. Maybe that was the only route they knew how to deal with it. Most of my friends did equal thing until I just quit hearing from them. So possibly in that respect, it was harder on them, and they just didnt know how to treaty with it.
You are very lucky to have such a fantastic support gridiron in your family. As a Radiation Therapist I have see both sides of the coin and as an individual I have experienced the caregiver role when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer metastasies.
There are oodles people out there that go through this alone, some because they don't want to burden their family and others because they have no family (either the are no longer here, or they don't want to know), you are so very lucky to hold the support of your family.
me it was very complex as I was only 17 when I started caring for my mother. It wasn't I choice I get to make it was a choice my father made for me. I'm not sure what choice I would have made have I been allowed. She deteriorated very rapidly and mentally become like a 3-4yo in behaviour, this expected bathing and dressing etc. I was also expected to care for my teenage brother and nick on all my mothers duties as a housewife (shopping,laundry etc). The hardest part was that my brother have no idea of what I had to do on a daily justification and resented me, because in his eyes I got to spend all daytime with mum and I didn't have to go to university, he still resents the "time" I had with her.
She died approx 8 months after the diagnosis of metastasies and I was moved out to arrange the funeral. I get the feeling from my father that he also resents me now, because of the time I spent near my mum, but they don't realise that they get to remember her when she was well, adjectives the memories I have of her now are from when she was sick.
Sorry if I have made anyone feel distraught, just thought my story may help make the other side to be see. Source(s): personal experience
That is a question I have asked myself frequent times. I have cancer and my husband is my caregiver altho I can do all for myself still at this point. I would definitely be a better caregiver than forgiving, its in my nature to care for others, and not be tend after, yet I am very glad its me and not my husband or my sons. I think contained by some ways its harder on the ones we love, as often they feel so helpless. When I was surrounded by a lot of pain last winter, my husband couldn't steal away my pain and that hurt him a lot. Yet as a cancer patient, not a soul that has not been given a 'terminal' diagnosis could possibly know how I feel. Guess this doesn't really answer your put somebody through the mill.. I suppose its because as you know, its a real roller coaster ride.
Related Questions:
ard myself talking to a coworker today as I was aphorism, "Thank God it's me and not Ian (my son)." But....as I thought about it...thank god it's me and not my husband or my mother also. I am forced to deal with the physical and moving side of this every day. If I want to live, there is no other option, but for my relatives.....it must be so difficult....they make a choice...they choose to stay and help fight...they choose to be caregivers not because they own to, but because they are strong enough to handle the physical and mainly stormy sides. It dawned on me today that if I were the caregiver...I would have broken down long ago, but my support squad has been absolutely amazing and rock solid the entire method through.
So sappy crap aside, do you think going through cancer and treatments has been more difficult on you or on your relations?
Answers: Reading your post dear has brought tears to my eyes. Although I have never had to traffic with having cancer myself I have deal with several close relatives with the disease. My Dad, Grandpa and Sadly my Mother. They were adjectives so brave in fighting but all lost the argument. For my dad it seemed to be the worst he had melanoma that had spread through out his intact body, he was in so much pain it be terrible to see him that way though I was lone 10. My grandpa had colon cancer and mom took care of him right up until she had to put him into a nursing home. We be there everyday with him until unfortunately he passed. My mom have lost so much weight caring for him, because of worry, stress.. and in recent times the everday going of taking care of someone you love and seeing them go down its difficult. But I can speak directly when it comes to my mother who had pancreatic cancer. I took carefulness of her completely though we had hospice for each family branch for my dad & grandpa they were great, but for my mom not so much. It's so hard to talk around, but I think definitely on my side of the fence its complex to see a loved one so weak, frail and sick. This was my mother the one person I other always thought would be there. It's devastating and to be perfectly honest its still thorny each day to even live without her. So, I don't focus either side has it easier or harder each side on its own is difficult. I congratulate you on warfare what a strong human being you must be. I also congradulate your family and network of friends sticking by you..that is to say the true test of love and it seems they are passing that. Good luck within your recovery I hope that you maintain and live a long happy time, not only for you but for your kids because I have to say its pretty difficult being without not only a short time ago one parent but both. My thoughts are with you!
I've been on both sides of the coin. I be my mothers caregiver for seventeen years. She had Parkinson's disease. Then I cared for my dad in the final months of his life. I thank God he did not live to see me go through breast cancer. It would have kill him. My sisters were amazingly strong. They found strength they never knew they had. Was it complex on them. Yes it was, but it was in deeply of ways tougher on me! With faith in God and a healthy dose of stubbornness I made it through. Source(s): be there and done that.
Thankfully I can't answer your question from the point of view of a patient. However, I can answer from the point of vision of a warrior's parent. My son E was diagnosed with a Wilms' Tumour as a newborn, won his battle, and be recently diagnosed with Secondary Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). The best thing we can do is lecture ourselves and talk with other parents of little warriors. Just discussion with other parents about similar experiences and what to look for, what to avoid, and what to do that helps comfort kids is more thoughtful than you could imagine. One great website is called People Against Childhood Cancer (PAC2). There are tons of wonderful people here who enjoy children that survived, have earned their wings, and who are currently conflict their battles. They all have great push for and are all warm and welcoming.
first character I met after my son was diagnosed the first time told me to make a caringbridge site for him. This was the most wonderful point I could have been told. We gave the website to line and friends so they could keep up with E's progress without have to constantly ask us. This gave us more time to spend devoted to fighting for E and being beside our other 7 children. The other thing is that we wanted to get other children involved contained by his treatment. Since all of our children are too little to fully understand what cancer is, we told them that E isn't home because he's being fundamentally brave and fighting a monster right now. It has help us both in giving Eli the attention that he needs as well as giving respectively of our other children the attention they need too. They love to visit him (when he's feeling ok enough) during the time he is within the hospital and we usually take one or two with us when he has clinic visit. It really gives the other children a sense of pride in that they're helping E fight his monster and get hold of better.
There are times that he gets scared, whether it's needles or someone new he simply isn't sure about. We just have to stay strong for him and product sure he knows it's ok. And yes, my wife and I sure have had our moments of worrying something like the future sobbing but we try our hardest to stay as strong as we possibly can in front of E and our other children. There's no need contained by worrying them any more than they already are.
This has all have not only had effects on my son but it's had effects on my wife and I as all right as our other kids. We have had to take days rotten work to spend with E and we've spent many nights apart, one beside E and one home with our other kids. The worry and the waiting has be the worst part for us, we have both definitely lost plentifully of sleep over it. Our kids are all pretty young (ages 8 years to 16 months) still but my oldest two, to some degree, comprehend that E is pretty sick. I know they constantly worry about him, especially when he isn't home.
It's just one of those things, it happen, as unfair as it is, but it happens. We just hold to do everything we can for our warrior and hope he can have a long, healthy life. Source(s): My 2 year dated son is a warrior who beat a Wilms' Tumour and is currently battling Secondary Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.
I was doing something, I be fighting cancer, I was dealing with side effects, I be coping with 100% of what I could do.
They were being supportive, helping next to what they could do, and then having to sit by when I was tired or not a hundred percent or fighting infections and all they could do was grain helpless to help.
sound a thoughtful person whom I would own liked to be treated alongside when I had cancer!
I don't have a household, but inside one feels one wants to give something hindmost to all the friends who helped one through - so I set up a website Having Fun After Cancer (www.after-cancer.com). The idea be that any friends who were then diagnosed with cancer, would realise treatment does come to an appendage, and there are lots of nice things we can take advantage of.
Good luck
Verite R
My family likes to pretend and feat like its worse on them, but its definatly worse on me. And for the very reason you articulate its worse on the caregiver... They choose to help me. My aunt acted like it was the biggest inconvience surrounded by the world and didnt let me forget it for a min, but she choose to let me live with her when I have to quit work. My mom acted like I was asking her to jump bad a cliff when I asked her to be my care giver during my transplant when my husband couldnt because someone had to work and I be 2 hours away. But she choose to come down here and be with me.
when I moved out of my aunt's house, she got to go on and not live beside it anymore. After 3 months my mom was able to go home and not treaty with it anymore. *I* am the one who has spent the majority of the last 4.5 years sitting on the couch not sufficiently expert to work, unable to go out. I have lost adjectives but a handful of my friends because people my age just dont know how to deal beside their friends having cancer, but my mom and my aunt never lost their friends over the help they gave me. My relations has always had money and time to nick their breaks from caring for me, but I am just now getting a break after this long of self sick.
While I have no doubt that it has be emotionally difficult for my family, they have all get to go on living their own lives while my life has be stuck in one place for almost 5 years. I havent been able to live my enthusiasm for almost 5 years while they are inconvienced, yes, but havnt stopped living their life for even a minute.
regard as my negativity about it being more difficult for me than my family is more nearly the lack of support than anything else. Maybe that was the only route they knew how to deal with it. Most of my friends did equal thing until I just quit hearing from them. So possibly in that respect, it was harder on them, and they just didnt know how to treaty with it.
You are very lucky to have such a fantastic support gridiron in your family. As a Radiation Therapist I have see both sides of the coin and as an individual I have experienced the caregiver role when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer metastasies.
There are oodles people out there that go through this alone, some because they don't want to burden their family and others because they have no family (either the are no longer here, or they don't want to know), you are so very lucky to hold the support of your family.
me it was very complex as I was only 17 when I started caring for my mother. It wasn't I choice I get to make it was a choice my father made for me. I'm not sure what choice I would have made have I been allowed. She deteriorated very rapidly and mentally become like a 3-4yo in behaviour, this expected bathing and dressing etc. I was also expected to care for my teenage brother and nick on all my mothers duties as a housewife (shopping,laundry etc). The hardest part was that my brother have no idea of what I had to do on a daily justification and resented me, because in his eyes I got to spend all daytime with mum and I didn't have to go to university, he still resents the "time" I had with her.
She died approx 8 months after the diagnosis of metastasies and I was moved out to arrange the funeral. I get the feeling from my father that he also resents me now, because of the time I spent near my mum, but they don't realise that they get to remember her when she was well, adjectives the memories I have of her now are from when she was sick.
Sorry if I have made anyone feel distraught, just thought my story may help make the other side to be see. Source(s): personal experience
That is a question I have asked myself frequent times. I have cancer and my husband is my caregiver altho I can do all for myself still at this point. I would definitely be a better caregiver than forgiving, its in my nature to care for others, and not be tend after, yet I am very glad its me and not my husband or my sons. I think contained by some ways its harder on the ones we love, as often they feel so helpless. When I was surrounded by a lot of pain last winter, my husband couldn't steal away my pain and that hurt him a lot. Yet as a cancer patient, not a soul that has not been given a 'terminal' diagnosis could possibly know how I feel. Guess this doesn't really answer your put somebody through the mill.. I suppose its because as you know, its a real roller coaster ride.
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